Last word on forgiveness

I have had two comments on my last blog:

From J J

Well, Peter, as to my prior quotation, your point is well-taken. However, I do not believe Gandhi expected the living to forget the sins of the butchers you list. I think the term forgiveness in his context was aimed at healing the living. Forgiving Himmler or Stalin helps neither murderer in any way. The symbolic act of letting go might free the survivors from the torture they must suffer for the balance of their lives. I simply reasoned that Gandhi expressed the same sentiment more succinctly than my limited capabilities permit.


From Anil

Peter —


As I understand it, the context of Gandhi's comments is something like:


"But no country has ever shown such forgiveness as India is showing to Britain?" Gandhi replies: "That does not affect my reply. What is true of individuals is true of nations. One cannot forgive too much. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."


I think the phrase that requires scrutiny is "One cannot forgive too much". As for your test cases, they are in extremis, I'd argue. Gandhi spoke to the many, not the few. He wanted people to think about forgiveness as a stronger alternative to vindictiveness, resentment, negative responses and the weakening, self-corroding effects these sentiments have on those that harbour them. And to do this in their everyday lives at the level of the mundane as well as the murderous.

It is certainly true — as well expressed by these comments — that I have limited my discussion of forgiveness to extreme cases. However, that was the subject of Wiesenthal’s book, and therefore I think it was legitimate to restrict myself to the worst that man can do. Anil suggested that I should write a blog about forgiving and forgiveness in general. However, I baulk at the prospect, given that the gradations of wrongdoing and criminal behaviour are as incalculable as the victim’s responses. And, in consideration of the latter, culture, temperament, circumstance, and imponderables will vary immeasurably. Certainly, Anil is correct in saying that, if bitterness is nursed and ‘cultivated’, then the effect will in all likelihood be catastrophic for the victim. However, knowing that is one thing; being able to help someone out of such a state is altogether another matter. Few things can be harder.

As for Gandhi’s ‘One cannot forgive enough’, this strikes me as naivety and insensitivity carried to the length of madness. In my lifetime I have behaved from time to time in ways which have caused other people not a small amount of misery. I do not unduly dwell on these things, nevertheless I feel certain sadness when I do reflect on them at times, and I do not forgive myself. I take this attitude: ‘Instead of beating our breast in guilt for our faults and wrongdoings, it is more productive to accept responsibility for learning from past errors.’ (Edward C Whitmont. Return of the Goddess. RKP, 1983)